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MEL HAS BEEN SHOWING US ALL THE "SIGNS" ALL ALONG


Gold Digging 101:  Lingerie Photo Collection

Oh, man.  Mel Gibson's  hyperventilation on the latest rant to be released.  Number five.

I tried to look into archives in which Oksana releases a solo single.  Singing that is.  Supposedly it cost millions of Mel's money to promote this "career".  On my way through Celebitchy's archives, I found the whole tale being laid out in front of us.  Often I like to read the past comments on the archives because you can sometimes unearth a very wise, sage type commenter who pretty much nails everything way in advance.  You can always interact with this person by posting questions to them on the boards.

Using Celebitchy's archives, I take you through this ominous journey up until the ranting phone calls are leaked...


Pretty. girlie lingerie ensemble

May 10th, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/100596/did_mel_gibson_cheat_on_oksana_with_a_polish_porn_producer/ 

April 20th, 2010
    http://www.celebitchy.com/98433/oksana_grigorieva_is_cryptic_bizarre_about_her_split_from_mel_gibson/
 
April 14th, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/97845/enquirer_mel_gibson_dumped_baby-mama_oksana_grigorieva/


Showcase other "talent"

March 12, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/94221/mel_gibson_is_making_oksana_study_to_be_in_his_conservative_catholic_church/

February 3rd, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/90262/mel_gibson_gets_arrogant_defensive_calls_reporter_an_ahole/

January 29th, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/89912/mel_gibson_defends_obama_he_got_left_a_mess/


Perfect the innocent/whore stare

January 28th, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/89709/mel_gibson_wears_earplugs_so_he_wont_hear_baby_lucias_cries/

January 27th, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/89585/mel_gibson_a_lovely_oksana_step_out_for_premiere/

January 25th, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/89337/mel_gibson_sleeps_with_a_gun_youve_got_to_be_tooled_up/



Seem vulnerable and non-threatening

January 11th, 2010
http://www.celebitchy.com/87717/mel_gibson_tiger_woods_is_being_used_as_a_diversion_from_war/

November 19th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/81206/mel_gibsons_church_asking_new_parishioners_to_fill_out_an_application/

November 9th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/79427/oksana_grigorieva_mel_gibson_wont_cheat_hes_solid_faithful/

oksana-7.jpg image by kelly_usa
Admiration stare

November 2nd, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/78181/radar_oksana_grigorieva_gave_birth_to_mel_gibsons_daughter/

October 30th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/78050/mel_gibson_realizes_oksana_is_greedy_ambitious_rude_selfish/

October 23rd, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/76837/oksana_grigorieva_rejects_mel_gibsons_generous_prenup_offer/

September 21st, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/71424/mel_gibson_acts_crazy_andor_drunk_on_jay_lenos_show/

September 18th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/71313/mel_gibson_has_cold_feet_about_marrying_staying_with_henpecking_oksana/

August 13th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/65550/robyn_gibson_leaves_country_during_oksana_grigorievas_media_blitz/

July 30th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/63214/enquirer_mel_gibson_got_a_secret_annulment_and_is_planning_a_christmas_wedding/

July 30th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/62996/mel_gibson_rips_guys_shirt_after_he_tries_to_take_his_picture/

June 25th, 2009
http://www.celebitchy.com/57401/mel_gibson_pampers_oksana_with_cars_diamonds_10000_a_month/

Well, there you have it.  Just by reading these headlines you kind of get an idea where and when Mel Gibson had a major break with reality.  The scenario above would make the best Lifetime movie ever.  Looking back, a sensible and wise person would be able to tell you where this was going.  Now the next time you witness this less than symbiotic relationship playing out, you'll be able to predict events and know when to get the hell out of there!

FENCES MAKE GOOD NARCISSISTS


Dolce & Gabbana are notorious for ads that try too hard


I bet Madonna flipped out when the town of Southampton told her she doesn't own the development rights to her own 30 acre property.

Page Six  says the town and county went after her...

Madonna ran afoul of officials on the East End when she started building a horse fence on the 30-acre Bridgehampton spread she bought from Kelly Klein in February and renamed Wild Horses Farms. Although Madonna owns the land, the town of Southampton and Suffolk County own the property's development rights. Wild Horses received a cease-and-desist letter from the county on July 7, and two days later, Madonna's company filed an application for permission to complete the fence. A committee will review her plea on July 27.

We'll see.  Suffolk County, New York is known to be unrelenting and petty when it comes to such matters.  Remind me to check on this case.  Remind me also to check if Gwyneth Paltrow actually visits this season.

PLEASE STAY IRRELEVENT, ENRIQUE IGLESIAS


Enrique Iglesias Will Water Ski Nude After World Cup Bet
Resorting To Nudity


He's threatening to nude waterski  in Miami.  He's joining forces  with The Jersey Shore Kids.  Please, stay away.  It was really rough seeing your face plastered everywhere some years ago.  I simply can't take any more of you, with or without your mole.  You even made us look at that butterface Anna Kournikova.  I've had enough of you to last me ten life times.




NO COUNTRY FOR OLD FAGS

Javier Bardem and Penélope Cruz Get Married | Javier Bardem, Penu00E9lope Cruz
Baredem/ Cruz


People says  with a straight face that these two got hitched

Just never forget that Penelope Cruz signed on as Tom Cruise's "lover" for a spell

THE CRAZY EYED BITCH IS FREE

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_R51-i3_O-RM/SceQlV7xSYI/AAAAAAAAYcM/3YW-GY5uIAE/s400/34.jpg
Stephanie Seymour


From Page Six

Stephanie Seymour took time off from her bitter divorce in Connecticut from newsprint mogul Peter Brant and spent a week end in Montauk. The swimsuit model was at the Panoramic View Resort & Residences with her kids. Having been quizzed in court about alcohol and prescription drug use, she avoided a party for the Ferrari Ham tons Rally at the hotel attended by "Real Housewives of New York City" stars Jill Zarin and Alex McCord. Meanwhile, Bravo cameras were also in the East End over the weekend shooting potential new housewives, including The Post's DIY columnist, Barbara K.


If only those heels had an extra inch

Here is a recap of her dating history and recent events

I may take a look at booking this Panoramic View Resort

This seems like the perfect place to at least start working on the draft of that book I am patiently waiting for since last year.


Breathtaking Studio Views
The Panoramic View Video In The Link Is a MUST SEE

FUUUUUUUUUCK NEW YORK STATE







That's right.  Screw them!  $9+ for a pack of cigarettes, $11 in the city.  Pfft.  I'm doing what my tenant did last year when his girlfriend did nothing but sit on her ass all day long and chain smoke.  That's a $20+ per day habit.



I went to the smoke shop and purchased a $10 bag of loose tobacco that is similiar to Marlboro, a $9 cigarette tube filling machine and a package of 200 for $5 cigarette tubes.




The first cigarette wasn't so great but by the 3rd time, almost perfection.  At first I bought the Gambler brand machine and tried to fill it to the 100's size.  Then I went back and exchanged it for the Rizla brand because I fondly remember that brand of rolling papers in Amsterdam.  It's made in Indonesia and works way better.





You know I'm gonna make my own blends as such eventually...And you know I'm gonna make a few, let's call 'em "hybrids".

Hint:  Try to load the machine w/lots of tobacco and when tamping, push down and wriggle from side to side

POOR, POUR MEL GIBSON...


Getting Old and Ugly


Yes, poor Mel.  Pour Mel another drink.  I'm sure you've heard the abusive rants and he is wrong and you know how I usually think of Mel Gibson.


Mel's Mullet

Rant #1

Mel is the richest poor man in all of America right now.  I see an uneducated drunken man with a big ego who got played by one of those Russian gold diggers.  She used his drunkenness and ego as weapons against him.  Reminiscent of how the 9/11 terrorist used our own planes against us.  There is nothing like the betrayal of letting someone use yourself against you.


Rant #2

I see an exasperated man who is already a nasty drunk let his belief in his religion cloud his vision of true spirituality that would restore him to sanity and sobriety.  I believe he took a wrong turn and confused spirituality with his version of a formal religion.  That kind of explains the misogyny.



 So Smug

Add on top of it all that he is fast becoming a poster boy for the ravages of alcohol and cigarettes after a certain age.  He is aging in dog years! Listen to the rants.  He must be kicking himself so hard right now because he fell for the oldest trick in the book.  She trapped him with that baby.  Never trap a wild animal into a corner!


Not All Puffy and Drunk Here



Last but not least, let us all thank Mel for the life lessons that he has taught the world.  He's actually giving everyone a heads up on what not to do.

                              The Mel Gibson Academy of Hard Knock Ups

1.  steer clear of outdated religious concepts you can't possibly adhere to in this day and 
      age

2.  avoid users who come from marginal backgrounds

3.  always use condoms

4.  don't drink excessively past the age of 40

5.  never leave a trail by telephone, text message or email. 

THE DAVID CARUSO SCHOOL OF LAW

Stuart V. Goldberg
Stuart V. Goldberg

Seems we have a lot to look forward to when Lindsay Lohan's new defense attorney from The Windy City, Stuart V. Goldberg takes on the case.

His motive might be to plug his novel and screenplay.

But you'll always remember him for this...


CSI MIAMI STYLE, BABY

See the rest of his Caruso-style videos
here.  

Update:  Radar Exclusive

YOU HATE GWYNETH PALTROW!

gwyneth1hireslogo
She looks like she's from Ireland here, non?




...And now you are going to hate her even more!

gwyneth5hireslogo
At least Sickitten still cares...

Our Gwyneth got a Vogue cover.  Just mosey on over to

Kaiser of Celebitchy 

It is great.  Gwyneth drones on and on in her nasal voice.  You can tell all of the photochopping work done in the Vogue issue.  The video betrays her current day look with stills from her past.

If we are to learn anything it is that Bruce Paltrow was a great dad.  I so relate to Gwyneth in this way because my dad was great also.  She must really miss him.  Hell, I miss him and I didn't even know him.  I miss him because he would never stand by and let her make the mistakes she has done after his death.  You know he would never approve of Chris Martin and Madonna.

gwyneth3hireslogo
She never looked this good even at 19


She's wrong in the video as it has taken her up until recently to learn how to use a knife properly.  The video interview is all full of fluff and if you are a Gwyneth fan like I am, you'll know when she is being duplicitous.  Still, you want the best for her on some level.  If only she'd make these life strides more of a private matter.  No worry ya'll.  She's exiting the barn doors now as we speak and this will be her last hurrah before she is put out to pasture by the powers that be in Hollywood.  Only to be welcomed back at a later date with a comeback when she finally "gets it". 

 

A MOTHER CALLS OUT ANGELINA JOLIE OVER SHILOH




The Fall Guy

Some anonymous poster on a gossip forum reminds us of what a four year old is capable of conceiving.  Never being a parent myself, I'm not familiar with the stages of development.  It takes a mother to blow the lid off of Angelina Jolie's sick little games she plays on her children.  Anonymous sees through Jolie's motivation for fabricating this warped image of her children. 




"This Shiloh thing is what's bringing Jolie down. The homewrecking ho thing she's never lived down, the media may have been bought and loons created, but most of the public has no sympathy for her whatsoever, waiting for the time - which is this year, that karma comes and gets her.

You wouldn't think she'd have the balls to pull off another huge emotional crime but she did. With Shiloh, intially she both capitalized on the pregnancy for publicity and sold photos for money while denigrating the child herself in order to glorify herself as an adoptive mother with a greater capacity for love than ordinary people. It was obvious that in her mind, most parents didn't love the adopted children as much as their bios, or she would have never told the story about Shiloh being a blob. Jolie wanted to elevate herself and declare by obvious implication that she was SPECIAL - she struggled to connect with her bio child while having enormous infinite love and connection for her adopted kids. Jolie also believes -- since it's an American commercial truism - that blonde hair/blue eyes are prized among the conventional citizens, but in her uber special, awareness laden, saintly universe, third world culture rules and the blonde blue eyed is an outcast. Isn't she special? She basically used Shiloh not to tell anything real about her feelings for or relationship with Shiloh, but used Shiloh as an illustration of how unusually special Jolie is, how unlike the ordinary and common CONVENTIONAL folk.

Meantime the kid herself is totally ignored as Jolie milks her existence for self-aggrandizement, or, as she'd characterize it "elevation."

Then came the hair event, and Jolie using it to create the fiction of Shiloh wanting to be a boy. She could have gotten away with that one - the kid is sturdy and active and no wilting wallflower. IF she'd dressed her as she dresses the boys - in urban type streetwear. But she had to dress her like a clown, claiming this was a THREE YEAR OLD's OWN SPECIFIC TASTE and actually thought she could sell that one.

That's getting spit back in her face, as it should be. Lie about that, then is her wanting to be a boy really true? Does a child who thinks she is a boy and one of the brothers want to be in a hat, clothes tucked in, long sleeves in hot weather? Probably not, most sensible people conclude. Well, if she doesn't want to dress like that, maybe she doesn't want to be a boy at all. Why does Jolie say she does?

BECAUSE JOLIE IS A MONSTER.

It's intuitive to everybody who puts eyes on the kid. It doesn't make sense with wanting to be a boy, or identifying with her brothers. It doesn't make sense with being an active, rough and tumble child. MONTENEGRO STYLE? Jolie is so arrogant she believes the public doesn't know that's impossible for a child Shiloh's age. Montefuckingnegro style.

The Shiloh scam is one thing the public will not forgive, or even pretend, as occasionally it did in the past with AJ's homewrecking, to forget. What kind of mother uses a pre-schooler that way, making a mockery of her vulnerability, her lack of awareness, and the core of her identity?"

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