Listen up, ya mooks, Gwyneth has f'd it up again. Madonna Mia!
What the hell is friggin' wrong with this Bacciagaloop?



Here's Gwyneth looking like a complete STUNAD in that ill-fitting dress

Facia-Bruta showed up at the opening of a hotel in Miami looking like a
complete Mamaluke. Her trainer is trying to lift up those cannolis with
special excercise but it won't work on Gwyneth. She really could use a
small breast implant if she isn't planning on having any more bambinos.

She's always had the bod of someone who is always feeling a lil' mooshadd.
Her best bet is really to ride a bicycle because the resistance of holding
the handlebars builds tone arms and chest muscles and allows you to see
the interior decor of your neighbors.

What she really needs is this. Every woman should invest in one of these-
                                               
 
Yo, we're not even talkin' $30 here. It has a low cut back, interchangeable
bra straps and pockets with removable padding. Ya can't go wrong, Compare!
Let me tell ya, I'm a 36 C/D and I looked the picture of elegance in a navy
blue, Calvin Klein halter gown last season. I just looked so 'put-together'.
So the next time Goomba Gwynnie tries to give ya the fashion advice on
the GOOmbPa site she's delusionally running, just remember this disgratiata
of a getup.  Take your hand and flip it under your chin in an outward motion 
and tell her, "FA NABOLA!"